Choosing Gratitude

Mindy Barker | Barker Associates

While this year has given us challenges beyond what any of us could have imagined, I choose to be thankful for all the experiences I have had and lessons I have learned in 2020. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to have gratitude above all else.  

Early this year, if someone had told me I would be okay with certain things, I would have said, “No, not me. I just can’t live like that!” Admittedly, there were many ‘I can’ts.’ 

I can’t: 

  • Go months without hugging my Mom tightly 
  • Deal with my Dad’s inability to speak 
  • Work out consistently at home, rather than at a gym  
  • Use paper towels other than ‘Bounty’ 
  • Use toilet paper other than ‘Charmin’ 
  • Not going out to eat twice a week 
  • Work at home every single business day, without physically attending any networking events 
  • Clean my own house 
  • Have naked fingernails and toes 
  • Do a TV interview without the assistance of a makeup artist  

Despite all of my resistance though, I did each of these things in 2020, and learned so much about myself and my ability to cope in the process. I met some amazing new people, had some wonderful new experiences, and learned that I can, in fact, do all of those things and so much more. I would never have known this about myself if 2020 had not forced me to adapt. 

I learned to be a more well-rounded business professional. Pre-pandemic, I was a master at in-person networking. I gain a tremendous amount of energy from walking into a room of people, seeing old friends, and meeting new ones. I love shaking hands, hugs, and engaging in conversation. Like so many of us, I love the human connection. 

As we all know, COVID-19 ended our ability to make that human connection. The isolation of working at home and not enjoying experiences with others was tough. I was also committed to going to the gym and to the group with whom I work out, all having been dear friends for over twenty years. Losing that treasured time was also extremely difficult.  

Yet, I survived these losses and foreign experiences. I figured out how to network with Zoom calls, join virtual conferences, and then follow up with attendees. I made connections that not only filled my pipeline of work, but also broadened my perspective of events that were occurring all around the world. I was able to work more efficiently and in ways that would have been highly unlikely before the pandemic. For example, I was able to effectively service clients in London, New Orleans, Sarasota, and Jacksonville – all remotely. I was also offered the opportunity to be the opening speaker of the embarcLA Virtual Conference, organized by the Mayor of Los Angeles. This event was designed to help those with entrepreneurial aspirations who lost their jobs. It was so exciting to see inquisitive young minds asking the right questions and learning the intricate steps of turning big, bright ideas into productive, profitable businesses. 

I work out at home consistently and love using the homemade barbells that my husband made for me. I am so grateful to be able to continue to take care of myself, and, of course, grateful to him. 

I got back into my kitchen and spent some time reorganizing. Now, I love to cook, and although I still enjoy the ambiance of a restaurant, I do so with a more critical eye on the food prep.  

When quarantine first started, my Mom had just experienced a stroke and was in Rehab, while my Dad was in Assisted Living. They were apart and kept in their rooms for weeks during the first part of the shutdown. Given that both have dementia, this was very difficult to explain to them. Finally, they were reunited in Assisted Living, but, of course, I was unable to visit. They were locked in their room, but at least they were back together. The isolation caused a significant decline in my Dad’s health, and there have now been times where he does not even recognize me. We all lost so much as a family. But now that the restrictions have been loosened, I am able to visit them. And I choose to be grateful for that.  

I learned to be happy with the paper towels and toilet paper I had. It turns out, it is not that big of a deal to have the ‘right’ brand, after all. 

I reconnected with a number of my college buddies, and I now treasure the Zoom cocktail hours we had during lockdown. Purposefully checking in with others was different, and in many ways, more genuine and engaging than a typical networking event. 

This was also a time where the news was not always the easiest to understand or process. I have found a healthy way to get the news that I need to be informed. I am so glad that I am inclined to learn what all sides have to say on a specific subject, so that I can silence the noise and understand the true issues better. When I recently tried to explain to someone that I enjoy being friends with all, and hearing everyone’s perspective, the woman looked me straight in the face and said, “It must suck to be you.” I simply laughed and told her it did not. I have learned so much, treasure the diversity of thought I hear from all, and am grateful for that perspective. 

As this year, with all its challenges, comes to a close, I will continue to choose to be grateful for each of these extraordinary experiences and for all that I have learned through them. I am exceptionally grateful to my clients, referral partners, friends, and family, all of whom helped contribute to my journey. I am grateful for each one of you.  

My hope is that each person who reads this has a safe and Happy Thanksgiving, remembering that the exuberance of gratitude can far overshadow any fear and anxiety if we allow it to. Choose gratitude each and every day. Happy Thanksgiving!